Mittwoch, 10. Oktober 2018

On marriage

“Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. The man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man.” That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.“ (Genesis 2:22-24)
Marriage is an eternal bond between a man and a woman, so that “they become one flesh.” Yet, many couples don’t respect the eternity of this bond and as statistics have shown, the divorce number have risen in Europe in the last 20 years ( What can we do, to counteract this evolution?
First, we must define marriage. The Bible gives us six characteristics:
“I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.”( Matthew 19:9) This implies that marriage is forever and that a divorce is (basically) no option.
“and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’?” (Matthew 19:5) A marriage is a monogamous relationship. A man has to commit fully and only to his wife and vice versa.
“Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.” (1 Peter 3:7) Both wife and husband are equal in marriage and in front of God.
“Then God said, “Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness, so that they may rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky, over the livestock and all the wild animals, and over all the creatures that move along the ground.”( Genesis 1:26-27 ) So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.” A marriage is an image of God’s image and thus serves the purpose of worshipping him.
“For man did not come from woman, but woman from man;  neither was man created for woman, but woman for man.” (1 Corinthians 11:8-9) The husband is the head of a marriage and the wife subordinate to him.
“God blessed them and said to them, “Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky and over every living creature that moves on the ground.”( Genesis 1:28) A marriage has to be fruitful and thus must have kids.
Now that we know, how marriage is defined in the Bible, let’s see how modern marriage beliefs interfere with them.
The first false belief that I want to cover is that the goal of marriage is not happiness. The goal of a marriage is to be faithful and to raise kids. These two can take up large parts of our lives and I am not saying that can’t be joyful. Often the pursuit of this goals is very rewarding. However, thinking that marriage only exists to guarantee us happiness is very selfish and can harm a marriage. A common excuse for a marriage is: we simply weren’t happy together. Knowing that happiness isn’t the goal of happiness can be on one hand sad, but on the other hand gives us relief and shows us our true responsibilities towards God and our kids. I can’t imagine something more cowardly than abandoning their kids, simply because they weren’t happy.
The second false belief is that there is a right wife for you. Nowhere in the Bible it’s written that God has the right women somewhere for you. When you marry someone, it becomes the right person, even if you don’t like her looks after a year or two.  Choosing the right wife is our responsibility.  “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. Honor her for all that her hands have done, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.” (Proverbs 31:30-31) The Bible advises to choose a faithful wife over a beautiful one.  On one hand this is because of the goals of marriage, but secondly in our modern times, faithful women have higher morals and are less likely to divorce and understand the importance of marriage.
Listen to your heart and have always in the mind the goal of a marriage and you will see that finding the right wife and staying married is possible.

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